53 beers on tap

County Mounties, Indeed!!!

Are we past the point where everyone in this county realizes that this county spends a lot of money on ridiculous things sometimes?  Because here's another one to add to the list.

I don't know who Sara Toth has pissed off to get all these wonderful journalistic assignments, but she had the misfortune recently to bring us this story about the HoCo starting a mounted patrol.  Yes, a mounted patrol.  As in on horseback.

To the editors at Patuxent: can you please find some good stories for this woman to write?  Heaven knows that the education beat is ripe with insanity.

But maybe it's the insanity angle that aligned with Ms. Toth's writing to bring this lastest incidence of HoCo gone LoCo to the forefront.

OK, so these people are volunteers.  Uniforms and radios were the only expense to the department.  Well, there's one source of expense not accounted for in the article.  Who the hell pays for the care and feeding of these horses?

My point is, that if $5 is spent on this program per year, it's too much.   Having attended the county's second most densely-packed social event of the year, Get Hammered and Puke Until Blood Comes Out In The Woods, last weekend, I can tell you that a mounted patrol would have added absolutely zero to crowd control efforts.  Crowds weren't that bad, honestly.

And I'm going to doubt that we're going to see the mounties at the county's most densely-packed event, the 4th of July fireworks at the lakefront.  Horses and fireworks don't get along well together, don't cha know?

Last weekend I became acquainted with the fact that the county employs park rangers.  That I get and it makes sense.  But a mounted patrol?  Seriously.

Term limit extensions

Happy Memorial Day!

Nothing is more patriotic on this day to honor those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our democracy, then to have a discussion about an important piece of that democracy!  And so shall it be today.

Lindsey McPherson wrote this article recently, spotlighting Councilman Calvin Ball's proposal to have the current number of terms that County Council members are limited to from three to four.

Term limits as a policy have always perplexed me a little.  As in, what problem are term limits trying to solve?  Are they a tool to attempt to promote more participation and competition in standing for elected office?  If so, there are other ways to do that, such as allowing for greater ballot access, campaign finance reform, and increasing the salaries of elected positions.

Are they a tool to promote a "move up or move out" culture in politics, thereby making elected officials more dedicated/committed to their work?  If that's the case, then why force competition, which will invariably lead to good elected officials being voted out of, or retiring from, office.

I'm really not sure what purpose term limits serve, other than that they make a certain sector of the electorate happy with themselves, that there exists a mechanism to move elected officials out of office.  This being the case, it would seem that, barring banning term limits altogether, extending them would be the next best thing to do.  So this legislation does seem like a good idea.

Chip off the old Marshmallow?

Even the Marshmallow Man can brag, right?  Right!

My son Will, who is headed to Penn State this fall to study Journalism, won the Journalism award last night at the OMHS senior assembly.  Very proud of all of his accomplishments!  And wow, amazing how this high school graduation thing works!  Some of these kids I watched playing soccer and baseball in 4th and 5th grade, I'm now literally, looking up to!  And they look like they could be in their early 20s instead of late teens.  Amazing.

BTW, for all the haters out there, I'd also like to get in that OM is sending at least one of its graduating seniors to Harvard.  Not too shabby for such a horrible school, eh?

Four years ago...

OK, so, this post is posting across the Intertubes on Thursday the 24th, but I'm writing it on Tuesday the 22nd-- four years to the day of the first post to this blog.  This post marks post number 812 in the illustrious history of 53 Beers on Tap.

Four years is not five (duh!) and perhaps a more restrospective view is more appropriate for a fifth anniversary.  But four years has a lot of significance too.  It's an Olympiad.  it's a term of a lot of various levels of elected officials' careers.  A newborn in 2008 is attending pre-K now.  So what's gone on in my world over the last four years (plus a few days into the future-- I am going to cheat a little, because it's my damn blog!)

I started writing at age 40; I'm 44 now.

My son graduates high school (in a week) and he was accepted to the college of his choice, Penn State, where he's going to stufy journalism.

My daughter had four ankle sprains, ultimately needing reconstructive surgery and a four-month rehab.  She's back to her soccer and lacrosse now.

I lost 50 pounds, gained back 35, and have lost another 15.

I moved.

I had a car accident.

I met a lot of new friends who I adore very much.

I strengthened bonds with old friends.

I let toxic people leave my life.

I kept the same job.

And that's just a top ten.  Sure I left stuff out.

All during this time, this blog has continued to entertain, amuse, infuriate, annoy, disgust, anger and celebrate you, the readership.  Those who I lovingly call "The Eight" but who I know are many, many more.

My favorites are always those who never know if what I'm writing is meant to be satirical or not.  As models, I write my blog like a local, bloggy version of the Howard Stern Show.  I am provocative because my intent is to be provocative.  Not pro or anti anything, not right wing, left wing, or wingnutty.  Not promoting any agenda at all.  Well, except to exile Ann DeLacy.  She's just horrible.

Perhaps a better analogy is this old commercial for the World Wrestling Federation.  Or the Edgar Allen Poe story "Hop-Frog".  For sometimes the role of this blog is for me to play the jester, and expose the cruelty of the so-called "civilized world".  And there are precisely zero places that celebrate civility so much, yet hypocritize the concept so, as Howard County.

So friends, let's raise a glass (I'll have tonic water with lime) to the next four years of 53 Beers on Tap.  Your 2011 Mobbie award winner remains at your service!!!  Lucky you.

O-R-I-O-L-E-S!!!

Taking advantage of this slowish news week in the HoCo, I am compelled to write about Baltimore's OTHER sporting birds: the Baltimore "OH-ree-ulls", as the legendary Charley Eckman used to say.  Or "Orioles" to the rest of us.

As of this writing, it is shown that the O's currently sit on top of the American League East, widely regarded as the toughest division in baseball.  They have one of baseball's best won-loss records.  If you don't believe me, look at the orange and black awesomeness here.

So is this year finally the season?  Not even talking about remaining in contention; is this the Orioles' first winning season since 1997? 

Well, there are still three-quarters of the season remaining, but for the first time in a good 6-7 years, it could be.  This team is doing it using two thirds of the Earl Weaver method of pitching, defense and three-run homers.  The starting pitching has been overall, very good, and closer Jim Johnson appears to have matured into his role.  And speaking of maturing, many of the O's bats-- center fielder Adam Jones, catcher Matt Wieters, left fielder Nolan Reimold, leadoff man Xavier Avery-- appear to have matured or are almost there, joining the team's already established star, right fielder Nick Markakis.  Timely hitting and the ability to come back from a deficit have been hallmarks of the O's rise this season.  This team battles back!

What could still screw this team up?  Lots of things.  One, defense.  The O's defense ranks at the bottom of the major leagues.  Two, neither the pitching nor the hitting truly being as good as advertised.  Pitchers and hitters alike will have to adjust as the season goes on.  Three, injuries.  The Orioles appear to have more organizational depth than they've had in years.  That's still not syaing much though.  A couple key injuries could really break the O's mojo.

Still, this team has become fun to watch as it clashes heads with the big boys of the American League.  Here's to meaningful baseball being played at Camden Yards come September!

Blandair going to the dogs?

Finally, there has come an issue about which I have complete, total, and utter ambivalence.  That is the establishment of a dog park at Blandair Park.  David Greisman has more to write about the topic here.

So, the dog that currently lives within our family is the sweetest, most neurotic, lovable german shepherd/australian shepherd mix you would ever want to meet.  Except when in the presence of another dog.  Then she turns into the Courtney Love of dogs, all angry and wanting to fight anything on four legs that moves.  So this dog would NOT be a candidate to do romp in a dog park, no matter where it was placed.

And I can remember my erstwhile compadres on the OM village board and revitalization loving all over having a dog park in OM.  It could be on the greened-over former Exxon property!  We could have a parade where everyone can dress their pets up like people!  Oh, the kitschy joy and fun, fun, fun!

Not so fast.  Turns out this year's version of the OM village board isn't so quick to embrace the idea.  In fact they think it kind of sucks on ice.

Other than bring some more people to Blandair Park, I don't see how the proposed dog park helps Oakland Mills.  And I don't see where it hurts it, either.  At least the dog filth is natural filth.  OM has survived the filth of the Exxon property, and the filth that is several owners of property around the village center, for years.

Let the process play out and see where this goes.

Tri in Howard County today!

On a 1000% healthier note than yesterday's post, the Columbia Triathlon is today.  Well, they call it the Columbia triathlon, but it starts in and goes around Centennial Park, which as we all know, is Ellicott City.  They ought to call it the Howard County Triathlon.  But they don't.  No matter.  Here is the website.

I've done a duathlon, and am doing another one in July.  But I swim like an ice cube.  I don't see myself ever doing a triathlon, except if I can learn to swim at my advanced age.  And, maybe more importantly, if I can tolerate being hit, shoved and kicked in the head during an open water swim in the funked-out ecosystem that is Centennial Lake.

All my best wishes to all the athletes today, especially all my friends who are competing in the event!

 

Time again to drink 'til you vomit In Howard County!!!

It's that time of year again!  The Wine in the Woods festival is this weekend.  Looky here to find out about all the festivities.

I will be attending Wine in the Woods this coming weekend; this will be the first year in several I have attended.  The last time, it was too cold, it was crowded, and a LOT of people were really, really drunk.  Including sidestepping a lot of puddles of wine mixed with partially digested turkey legs, and stomach juices.  And this was about 2pm on a Saturday afternoon.

I am going to see if maybe Howard County Government or citizens at large have learned anything in the last several years about managing this event, or helping people manage their alcohol consumption.  Going to be interested to see how this gets pulled off.

Look for Marshmallow Man's "behind the scenes" coverage of Wine in the Woods next week.  "Undercover Boss" has got nothin' on good ol' MM!

Justice to be miscarried?

OK, so if this goes down, it's basically a miscarriage of justice.  And it means five months of not having someone on the Board of Education who can do some good.

This article discusses the possibility than when the administrative law hearing concerning Allen Dyer reconvenes in June, that the whole damn thing can be thrown out, leaving Allen in office to snarl away until he steps down when his term ends in late fall.

So at issue here now is the assertion that the way Allen used Board members' names in communications is offensive.  But overarchingly, the adminstrative law judge is having a problem connecting Allen's actions, which may very well be offensive and asinine, to being sufficient grouds for removal.

Look, I never said Allen Day was a stupid man.  Just the opposite, he is plenty smart.  But isn't the definition of a bully someone who knows how to do just enough to push someone's buttons to upset them and make them not act altogether rationally?  To make them become uncomfortable in their presence?  And isn't that that Allen Dyer has done?

And I realize that lately there has been a local sentiment of, "Well, Allen's now been voted out of office, what's the harm of just letting him serve out his term?"  The harm is this: Howard County has home rule.  The right of this elected body to remove one of its own should not be impinged upon.  In fact, that's something that should change in 2013, if our General Assembly delegation can get this done.  Create an internal to Howard County process for the removal of School Board members. 

I really hope that when June 6 rolls around, the judge won't let Allen Dyer of the hook.  But it seems like the possibility is emerging that this may happen.

Coming in 2014: The Met!

The first plan for real, honest-to-goodness residential development in downtown Columbia has seen the light of day, and it's  a pretty good one!

Howard Hughes has entered into a venture with two other companies to propose "The Metropolitan Downtown Columbia" a luxury apartment facility that will contain about 380 units, plus amenities, and space for retail and and other features including lots of parking.  You can read all about it here.

I like what I see of this development.  Columbia doesn't exactly have a large inventory of true luxury rental units.  Over in OM we used to have Tor, then the owners decided Section 8 vouchers were good, Tor became Grand Pointe, and well, things went downhill from there.  And other rental communities are becoming more voucher-friendly.  I am all in favor of the use of vouchers, but apartment managers' addiction to them has to end.

So the establishment of a truly upscale rental complex in downtown Columbia is a good thing.  Now the fun really starts-- the approval process.  Look for all the fruits and nuts, the TAGnauts, and every whooping lunatic wearing garish sweaters and ponytails to come out against this one.

I look forward to their soul-crushing defeat!