So the US Anti-Doping Agency has decided to ban Lance Armstrong from competitive cycling for life and strip him of his seven Tour de France championships, under the allegation that Armstrong has used performance-enhancing substances.
On the surface, it seems that the US Anti-Doping Agency has a lot of power. Because isn't cycling like, an entire sport? And isn't the Tour de France held... in France? By a bunch of French people??? So what else can the USADA do? Can it clear my driving record? Can it reverse the 2000 Presidential election? Can it makie Spiderman appear in "The Avengers 2"?
Sara Toth has an article on the local angle to the Lance Armstrong story here. The Ulman Cancer Fund will continue to stand by Lance Armstrong and will continue to turn to him whenever it needs something done that only a worldwide celebrity who reached the pinnacle of global competition after recovering from several types of cancer can do.
Those of you who recall the last local elections may recall that Lance Armstrong voiced a robocall for Ken Ulman. I'm going to take a wild guess that Ken may still call upon Armstrong to help him out in the 2014 campaign, which, we all know, may very well be for Governor.
My take on the Lance Armstrong thing is this. One, he has already moved on from cycling and is competing in Ironman triathlons. For those who don't know, that's a 2.5 mile open water swim, 112 miles on a bike, and then a full marathon-- all completed back to back to back. In his first Ironman ever, he finished third. I think he's still at his peak as an endurance athlete. And I don't care of he has a rocket surgically implanted in his butt, this guy survived cancer and won the freaking Tour de France! So I don't know what "truth" about Lance Armstrong is out there that hasn't been known already-- what was it, exactly, he has supposedly put into his body to help his performance that he shouldn't have-- and I'm not sure I care. Because whatever substances he used may very well have been for the ancillary purpose of, oh, I don't know, keeping him alive? And regardless of any such transgressions, this guy is a unparalleled medical miracle.
Now, if his miracle-making possibilities extend to politics, maybe he can get Kenny U elected Governor!