Unbelievable goings-on at last night's CA Board Operations Committee. I was not in attendance, but a friend called to give me the details and these have been 100% confirmed. I can't believe that on today, of all days, this would finally come.
The CA Board Operations Committee discussed Monday night the topic of secession. Originally, the thought was to secede from the State of Maryland and become the State of Columbia. However, CA Board Chair Andy Stack, in attendance and ever the devotee of reference materials, found this item from the US Constitution:
Secessions from a state
Article IV, Section. 3, Clause 1 of the United States Constitutions reads: New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress. Some of the movements to partition states have or do identify themselves as "secessionist" movements.
So the part where a new State shall not be formed within the jurisdiction of an existing State-- well, that didn't work for the committee. But the next idea did, and in fact passed unanimously before the entire Board Operations Committee. Hold on to your hats because this is about to get really amazing. Not amazing like a Gen Y uses the word, but I mean, REALLY amazing.
The CA Board Operations Committee voted for Columbia to secede from The United States of America.
Committee members Swatek, McCord and Waller and Board Chair Stack were moved by the proposal, which was the brainchild of CA Board member Russ Swatek from Long Reach. Swatek gave a 41-minute oratory in which he called Columbia "The way of life that's too good for America" and proposed secession. The goal would be to create a Monaco-like state within the US, a small nation so wealthy and privileged and egalitarian, based upon the Jim Rouse Dream, that it would truly be a Utopia. In fact Suzanne Waller asked Swatek why not call the proposed new nation Utopia, and according to people involved in the conversation, Swatek turned slowly, set his jaw in a staesmanlike manner and simply said softly, "branding."
All were moved to tears and the motion passed unanimously. But this was not yet done.
The Patriots of Columbia found their seven colleagues on the Board and obtained, waiving all known CA procedures, 10 signatures on a document which was completed in triplicate. One was hand-delievered to Ken Ulman's home, one to Government House in Annapolis, and the third to the White House by special courier, who was none other than Alan Klein. The document, as yet unavailable to the public, declares Columbia's inalienable right to exist as a sovereign state and establishes today, April 1, 2014, as the date of the founding of Columbia. Among the points of the letter:
Columbia will adopt the Bitcoin as its currency.
The US, Canada, Mexico, UK, and Ghana are the first nations to be invited to establish an embassy. The UK is looking to come to the open storefront next to the Oakland Mills Food Lion.
The villages shall henceforth be known as States, and the current CA Board representatives known as Governors.
Village Boards have been established as at-large State Senates and State Houses of Representatives have been established. Representatives shall be elected by District, at 1 per 1,000 presidents of a State.
Howard County, the State of Maryland, and US Government are invited to do business with Columbia via treaty.
All agreements with General Growth Properties are hereby null and void. Columbia has gone into negotiations with the UK to have Harrod's build an extension onto Columbia Mall which will include a store as an anchor.
Planning for an airport at Columbia Gateway has begun.
The Whole Foods agreement has been nullified in order to establish the national capital, the name of which was actually a clever ruse: Haven on the Lake.
Wegman's will be allowed to sell liquor.
The gyms have begun transition to training centers for the Columbia Olympic Team. It is hoped that the COT may have a presence at the 2016 Rio games, competing in track and field, boxing, wrestling, weightlifting, swimming, diving, and modern pentathlon.
No provision has been made yet as to the selection process for the first President of Columbia. A delegation drove to Padriac Kennedy's house Monday night to gauge his interest, but he was not. The delegation drove by Phil Nelson's and collectively went, "naaaaaah." Latest word is that Swatek is willing to serve as President on a temporary basis, until a full-time President can be selected. Hmm. That sounds familiar.
Former CA Board members Jud Malone and Barbara Russell have been named Columbia's UN observers.
And late-breaking-- Oakland Mills, Wilde Lake, and River Hill are all seeking secession from Columbia.
Who knew that only four people could wield such incredible power? The same was said of the Russian revolutionaries of 1917. And look how that turned out.
There are lots of developments going down, True Believers! If you know new news of Columbia, indicate it here.
Happy today! Let's be careful out there.